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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90 #2

Illustration for article titled ‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90 em/em#2

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

  • 1926
    Noted English author A.A. Milne plagiarizes beloved British children’s book Winston The Proper Plaything For Young Lads
  • 1926-2016
    Eeyore, the introspective donkey, quickly becomes a favorite among readers who are sad pieces of shit that everybody hates
  • 1928
    Critics blast sequel The House At Pooh Corner as a derivative retread that fails to develop Owl and Roo
  • 1956
    Milne passes away before having a chance to witness the full extent of his characters’ commercialized mutation
  • 1961
    Acquisition by Walt Disney Productions the only reason you’ve heard of any of this at all
  • 1985
    Last heffalump dies in captivity
  • 1995
    Parent advocacy groups demand at least one heterosexual character be added to Winnie-the-Pooh’s circle of friends
  • 2003
    Piglet’s Big Movie, despite grossing $63 million worldwide, somehow not remotely the most successful movie to star a pig
  • 2004–2011
    Franchise kept alive exclusively through Aunt Lisa’s sweatshirt collection
  • 2026
    Many children continue to dislike reading

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