The Onion

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Voting Vs. Abstention

The Onion

In an election where voters feel faced with an unappealing ultimatum, many are considering skipping the polls altogether. The Onion presents a side-by-side comparison of voting and abstaining.

Fontly Speaking

The Onion

9/19/17 10:48am

Hey, as much as I hate to preach, now is the time when I have to get on the old soapbox: No more Futura Bold Condensed! I mean, really! It’s such a precocious little font. I know it seems chic and irresistible, but show some restraint! People are using it everywhere, from Surgeon General’s warnings to children’s…

Do You Believe Brian Williams Should Resign?

The Onion

9/15/17 3:50pm

Voting Vs. Abstention Voting Vs. Abstention

The Onion

9/15/17 2:09pm

In an election where voters feel faced with an unappealing ultimatum, many are considering skipping the polls altogether. The Onion presents a side-by-side comparison of voting and abstaining.

Voting Vs. Abstention Voting Vs. Abstention

The Onion

9/15/17 1:48pm

In an election where voters feel faced with an unappealing ultimatum, many are considering skipping the polls altogether. The Onion presents a side-by-side comparison of voting and abstaining.

Voting Vs. Abstention Voting Vs. Abstention

The Onion

9/15/17 1:42pm

In an election where voters feel faced with an unappealing ultimatum, many are considering skipping the polls altogether. The Onion presents a side-by-side comparison of voting and abstaining.

Voting Vs. Abstention Voting Vs. Abstention

Claire Neveu

9/15/17 1:33pm

In an election where voters feel faced with an unappealing ultimatum, many are considering skipping the polls altogether. The Onion presents a side-by-side comparison of voting and abstaining.

Eagle_Warrior_1776 Horrified To Discover Its Entire Life A Sham Created By Russians To Tilt U.S. Election

The Onion

9/14/17 2:37pm

MOSCOW—Stunned by the realization that it never really knew who or what it was, Twitter bot Eagle_Warrior_1776 was reportedly horrified to discover Wednesday that its entire life was a sham created by Russians to tilt the 2016 presidential election. “So, everything I tweeted about Hillary Clinton and the DNC…

Eagle_Warrior_1776 Horrified To Discover Its Entire Life A Sham Created By Russians To Tilt U.S. Election

The Onion

9/14/17 2:35pm

Eagle_Warrior_1776 Horrified To Discover Its Entire Life A Sham Created By Russians To Tilt U.S. Election #2

‘Who Am I? What Am I?’ Asks Shocked Twitter Bot

9/14/17 2:33pm

Eagle_Warrior_1776 Horrified To Discover Its Entire Life A Sham Created By Russians To Tilt U.S. Election

The Onion

9/14/17 2:29pm

The Pros And Cons Of Early Retirement

The Onion

9/13/17 1:03pm

With careful planning and prudent financial decisions, many Americans could retire before 65. The Onion weighs the pros and cons of such a decision:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 12, 2017 #6

The Onion

9/13/17 11:58am

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Claire Neveu

9/13/17 9:13am

Year in Pictures: 1996

The Onion

9/12/17 5:13pm

Jars We Had To Ask For Help Opening In 2014

The Onion

9/12/17 4:48pm